My heart is breaking for my son. We spent 6 months, going to 4-5 different outdoors stores (some of them two or three times) and even The Good Feet Store trying to find hiking boots that were comfortable. He’s had his boots less than a month and for whatever reason (his feet grew, his socks aren’t in the right place, who knows) they aren’t comfortable – they don’t fit – and he’s having a melt down.
I hate that trying to do something he enjoys – hiking, backpacking, a scouting event – causes so much distress.
I hate that the mere thought of getting his things together for a trip is so overwhelming that even breaking it down into smaller chunks over several days is too much for him.
I hate that when he finally has everything together and it doesn’t go in his bag right, it’s cause for another melt down.
I hate that some people don’t understand and won’t try to understand.
I hate that I don’t know how to help him.
I know that autism is a part of who he is. I know it is why his brain thinks differently than others and why he is so good at solving puzzles or engineering types of things.
But I hate this part of it. The part that is painful for him. The part that keeps him from enjoying activities that he loves.
So he left for his trip – coming off a full blown melt down – in an uproar.
I sit here, wondering if he’s adjust to the boots. Wondering if the fun of the scouting event will overcome the discomfort. Or – did he get there and find the rain and mud even more unbearable.
I sit here – afraid to text my husband to see if he’s calmed down. Waiting for the phone call or text that I need to come get him. But hoping that he’s settled down and will enjoy the event. And praying – always praying…